I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
