found the other keg... it's in the tree
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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