trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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