I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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