the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
