i always forget guys have bellybuttons
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Come share oat with me in your robe
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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