I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
