my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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