good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize