I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
