somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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