Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Naked Twister starts at high noon
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
