have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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