capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
