listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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