i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
