oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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