apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
