since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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