Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
