just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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