I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
