im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
