i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
