I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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