your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Randomize