He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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