you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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