we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize