WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
