just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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