the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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