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• (631): View more from New York

  meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.

  (516): View more from New York

  wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!

  (631): View more from New York

  aww shit wrong text.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.

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• (231): View more from Michigan

  I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.

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• (949): View more from California

  if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous

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• (727): View more from Florida

  I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson

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• (587): View more from Alberta

  Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...

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• (505): View more from New Mexico

  CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  i just want things to go smoothly

  (1-618): View more from Illinois

  oh they won't lmao

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.

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