her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
