The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
