I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
