the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
