Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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