can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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