she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
