Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
