I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Randomize
