playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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