everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she peed on how many people?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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