i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
