Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
