Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
