My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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