You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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