my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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