How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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