My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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