She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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