anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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