i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
