i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize