Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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