Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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