Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
