if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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