dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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