Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
